Jenn. 20. NY. English major dabbling in Psychology, Political Science, and most things (good) television. I re-watch, I re-blog, and I rage. The current show is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Expect shameless fangirling.

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Spencer Reid as the 4th Doctor

WHAT

aikainkauna:

I think this just won everything.

EVERYTHING.

This took me a second.

Matt Smith, I’m sorry I told everyone I ever talked to about Doctor Who that I find you terribly unattractive because welp

3 Least Favorite Characters of Television (in order of worst to almost-worst): 

1. River Song, Doctor Who. 
   
   I don’t know who decided to make River a character, but she’s bad and her creator should feel bad.  I know we’re all dying to see the Doctor fall in love with someone (I have an issue with this point even on its own, as I pretty sincerely dislike Rose as well), and River was meant to fill that hole.  But for me, River is a walking, talking cliche of what “cool girls” are supposed to be.  She’s got poison lipstick and sunglasses and a catchphrase (oh I’m sorry — at least TWO catchphrases).  When we meet her younger form, she’s arriving in a fast convertible and a leather jacket.  There is nothing about River that isn’t blatant audience-appeal in its worst form.  And if her god-awful personality isn’t enough, she’s constantly reminding us of Moffat’s poor writing style by shoving her mystery in our faces.  How many times an episode does she have to whine about how little/much the Doctor knows of her? (Best scene with River: “Silence in the Library”, when Donna yells at her to stop “talking rubbish” after one too many cryptic sentences.)  Most of the tumbleverse likes to reblog gifs of her saying “Hello, Sweetie” or “Spoilers” and she’s in a lot of really-difficult-to-read fanfictions.  When it comes down to it, River is a character written by a high school student, not too far off from a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, who has fewer in common with actual people than the aliens of the series from which she hails.
    
2. Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
   
   Joss Whedon is widely considered a fantastic writer, at least among the people on the Internet.  He should be.  He is.  Among praise of Whedon is his penchant for strong female characters (which he recently said is something of a curse, in a reddit AMA).  Why, then, is his most popular creation so insufferable? There is a lot to love about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but its protagonist is not one of them. She’s unintelligent (in the first few seasons, she is repeatedly seen misunderstanding common phrases, failing exams, and generally struggling with school), impulsive (she acts purely on instinct most of the time, which is not a point made moot by her superhuman instinctual abilities), and generally shallow (the first conversation we see her having with a person her age is a conversation with Queen Bee Cordelia Chase, which concerned gripping topics like vamp nail polish and how James Spader “NEEDS to call” her).  And did I mention whiny? We get it, Buffy—you’re the Chosen One who had no choice.  But Jesus Christ if I have to listen to you complain one more time about how all you want is a “normal life,” I’m going to put a stake through your heart.  None of your friends bitch half as much as you do, and they’re in it just as deep.
    
3. Ianto Jones, Torchwood.
   
   Ianto is actually what inspired me to make this post.  I’ve just started Torchwood, so bear with me if I’m not as omniscient as I am about the former television shows, but six episodes is all I need to decide Ianto is nearly as bad as they come.  In a tired television trick, Ianto remains pretty much below our radar until episode four, called “Cyberwoman,” which then revolves mostly around him.  It seems Ianto has been hiding a female cyberman (one of the deadliest of Whoverse monsters since the series re-boot) in the basement of the Torchwood facility because he loves her and he wants her to be returned to her initial human form.  I don’t have anything against love; I do, however, have something against calling what Ianto is feeling “love.”  When Molly, as the cyberwoman is called, kills a man who intended to change her back, Ianto hides the body.  He then hides the murderous Molly from his co-workers, and of course she gets out.  The rest of the episode is spent showing the Torchwood employees trying to defend themselves against a killing machine while Ianto cries and begs them to give her more chances to repent.  When Captain Jack Harkness tells him he needs to kill her, Ianto points the gun at Jack instead, refusing.  It’s incredible that Ianto is even in the rest of the series after this point.  He is apt to get the rest of them killed through his deception and his pithy adolescent sensibility.  Hint, Ianto: hiding bodies after your girlfriend goes on a rampage does not mean you love her.  It means you need some serious help, and probably to not work at a government agency that deals with often-dangerous aliens.  Seriously, can someone explain to me why Ianto’s still trusted at all with anything? I can’t imagine he could possibly redeem himself from this, no matter how many times he and Jack make out.

Captain Jack Harkness.

Not at all attracted to Matt Smith; entirely too infatuated with boys who have sharp collarbones and bony shoulders and almost no body hair at all.

GPOY.

Why I really love Donna Noble, part 1: 

River: “He hasn’t met me yet.  I sent him a message, but it went wrong.  It arrived too early.  This is the Doctor in the days before he knew me.  And he looks at me… he looks right through me and it shouldn’t kill me but it does.”

Donna: “What are you talking about?! Are you just talking rubbish? DO YOU KNOW HIM OR DON’T YOU?!”

Don’t worry Donna.  I don’t like her, either.