February 2012
46 posts
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SIWAGW:
dear little Ringo.
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WatchThis song was the first song that ever made me cry. The emotion in his performance is just incredible.
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Aw yeah animal pun names
My brother: I have two pet sheep on Minecraft -- one blue and one pink -- and I need names for them.
My brother: I want the names to be animal puns.
Me: Oh okay let's think.
Me: Uh, Mammoth because he's wooly?
Me: Baathoven.
Me: Baaby Kennedy.
Me: Vladimir Nabaakov.
My brother:
Me: What do sheep do besides baa and get turned into sweaters?
My brother: I don't know.
My brother: But I want them to be married.
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Tumblr's New Policy: Why it's Helping You, Not...
Everyone (we’ll take this to mean “a broad demographic of the internet” and not actually “everyone”) is whining about Tumblr’s new policy on self-harm content. ”This is a blogging website!” a lot of them seem to say. ”I want to be able to talk about my life on my blog! How could you stop me from doing that?” The more ornery people are...
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Me: I need to learn French.
Rosetta Stone: Use me! I'll teach you how to speak nearly-fluent French!
Me: You're pretty expensive.
Rosetta Stone: I'm on sale! And if you return me within six months, you get all of your money back!
Me: ...Um, okay. That sounds like a good deal actually.
Rosetta Stone: Woo! I'm in your mailbox! Pick me up and install me and start me up!
Me: All done. Let's start! Oh man I can't wait to learn French. I want to speak it somewhat well when I'm there next semester.
Rosetta Stone: I can do that for you!
Rosetta Stone: First lesson. You're learning words like "un homme" and "livre," okay?
Me: That seems reasonable enough.
Rosetta Stone: Good job! You know those words now. Don't you feel great?
Me: Yeah! Oh man thank you so much, Rosetta Stone. What's next?
Rosetta Stone: Second lesson. You're learning words like "le chien" and "conduit."
Me:
Rosetta Stone: Say the sentence with me! "Le chat ne cuisine pas."
Me:
Rosetta Stone: Le chat ne cuisine pas.
Me: Le chat ne cuisine pas.
Rosetta Stone: See how easy it is to learn conversational French with me?
Me: Le poisson nage.
Rosetta Stone: You're on your way to fluency!
Me: But-but... What about things like "I want water please" or "where is the university" or "my name is Jenn?"
Rosetta Stone: No, I'm doing this right trust me. Now say "les enfants ne conduisent pas."
Me:
Rosetta Stone: Les enfants ne conduisent pas.
Me:
Rosetta Stone: Les enfants ne conduisent pas.
Me: Les enfant ne conduisent pas?
Rosetta Stone: Woo! Everyone is going to love you in France.
Me:
Rosetta Stone: Next lesson!
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Saying it with a .gif:
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Just got French Rosetta Stone
france: ten
france: twenty
france: thirty
france: forty
france: fifty
france: sixty
france:
france:
france: sixty ten
world: france what are you do—
france: four twenties
world: france stop it
france: four twenties ten
world: france that doesn't even make any sense
france:
france:
france:
world:
france:
world:
france: hundred.
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excerpt from "Mayakovsky"
4.
Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again, and interesting, and modern.
The country is grey and brown and white in trees, snow and skies of laughter always diminishing, less funny not just darker, not just grey.
It may be the coldest day of the year, what does he think of that? I mean, what do I? And if I do, perhaps I am myself again.
Frank...
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Changing the date so it looks like I posted this...
(say it with a gif wednesday)
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“We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn...”
– Newt Gingrich, 2007.
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One of my favorite songs.
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Sometimes I really want to use tumblr for...
and then I’m like what no are you kidding you’re twenty years old.
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Me: So I'm walking back to my dorm from the gym and something crosses the path in front of me.
My brother: Yeah?
Me: It's a fucking deer with a broken leg. I want to cry.
My brother: Oh. I thought you were going to say that a Snorlax was blocking the path.
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I can't tell if this makes her awesome or not.
chalifouxable:
My sister just bought a happy meal just because they have Batman toys.
One year later: it makes me awesome, okay? I still have that plastic Jokermobile.
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Also, because it's Wednesday:
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A Thank-You Note to Men
To you, whom it may concern:
Manly creature, who smells good even when you don’t, you wake up too slowly, with fuzzy, vertical hair and a slightly lost look on your face as though you are seven or seventy-five; you can fix my front door, my sink, and open most jars; you, who loses a cuff link and have to settle for a safety pin, you have promised to slay unfortunate interlopers and...
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